1. Buggering about with my pc. Specifically, fiddling about with my setup so the damned mouse creeps about the screen on some kind of nano second delay behind my movement...
2. That effing grey cat that's moved in with some idiotic neighbour, and whose still steaming s*%t I've just found in the middle of my row of red French lettuces.
3. The bloody ineffectiveness of the bloody signal that causes the picture on my bloody telly to break up, just as Jamie, or Morse, or Gibbs, or worse, Gardener's World, gets to the good bit.
4. The jackass, part-time M1 motorists who decide to cruise in the fast lane, through the bloody roadworks, on a Friday afternoon rush hour... at 48m per hour. It's averaged-out speed cameras you jackasses! You've got to get up to 60mph before you get snapped. So get out of my way or get in the slow lane.
5. OK I'm calm now.