I like to arrive at funerals a good 45 minutes before the host. Unless of course it's a Catholic funeral, when the body is brought into church the night before. Arriving early enables you to seat yourself in the appropriate part of the church. Not too near the front (unless you are family, very close friends or just plain rude), half way back (if you are distant family i.e. second cousin status and beyond, work colleagues and parishioners), or at the back (people of no faith, those who need others to show them when to stand when to kneel, etc., and drama queens.) I sat myself quietly with the better dressed and distant family and friends in the middle section. Packed church, lovely funeral, on point eulogy and a good spread afterwards. Three hours later I'm still there renewing distant family relationships and swapping email addresses. Then I blackberry my PA.
"At wake. Negotiating purchase of coat. Google up musquash. Not rabbit is it?"