Wednesday, August 29, 2012

The Slacker Diaries Part 22

I've been very busy since Easter.  Actually, very busy and also very lazy and tremendously relaxed.  We've been backwards and forwards to our house in France; to visit rellies in the west; Irish weddings; several funerals (I might be developing an expertise in attending funerals of non-familial, half-friends); reduced my cheese intake to "What the hell do you call that bit of dairy dust?" and eaten a sandwich in the street.  This last bit is really disgusting. 
I went to a school where eating in the street, regardless of whether we were in school uniform or games kit travelling to hockey matches on Saturday mornings, was a detentionable offence.  And by "eating in the street" school rules meant sucking a boiled sweet, or worse: chewing gum...  It did not mean eating something that required one's hand to deliver edible matter into one's mouth more than once.  In my first year rumour had it that a third former had been expelled for eating a Crunchie at the bus stop.
Here I am, mother of graduates, feeling reckless and a little disgraceful eating a sarnie in the street.  It was a pulled pork sarnie with enough chilli sauce to make your eyes bleed at a Caribbean festival, but that's beside the point. At least with a boiled sweet you can pretend to cough and transport the sweet from pocket to mouth under cover of hankie.  I tried to do this once with a chocolate biscuit in Double Physics.  I was caught by Dr Boyle and nearly killed except for years of practise swallowing entire contents in one go and then claiming to be merely emptying out my pocket onto the science lab floor.  It says lot about my school that the work for the cleaning staff was not considered by either of us...
In my defence, mi-lud, I've completed some stunning gardening projects since April - photos to follow.  Eventually...

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